romeo, save me; i've been feeling so alone.

let’s just stop, drop everything, forget each other’s names, and just walk away.

i’m so close to being done. you’ve been stringing me along for quite long enough i think, and honestly it’s not fair. especially since i think we both know who’s heart you’re going to be breaking in the end. it’s to the point where i have no faith, no hope, and i don’t even know if the feelings we had our real. how could they be if you’re willing to put me through this? well, mine are real. if they weren’t why would i be willing to be dragged through the mud, stabbed in the back, kicked repeatedly in the stomach, and have my heart shattered into tiny little pieces? i’m tired of caring. i’m tired of praying every night that you’ll realize what you should do. i’m tired of having to think “why is she so much better than me?” i’m tired of being second best. i’m tired of being walked all over. i’m tired of you thinking it’s okay to break my heart. i’m tired of hurting. i’m tired of crying. i’m tired of having panic attacks. i’m tired of literally clawing at my stomach to make sure i can still feel. because it’s to the point where i just feel numb. i still know it should hurt like a bitch, but i don’t feel anything anymore. i don’t even feel anything when you say i love you. maybe that’s because of the guard i have up. or maybe that’s because i don’t know if you really mean it anymore. you told you would give me an answer. that was four or five days ago. i can’t wait anymore. i need to know. i know what you’re going to say. why else would you be avoiding me the way you have. honestly i think picking her is taking the easy way out. honestly, i don’t know what to think anymore. i’m done. i hope she makes you happy.